I cannot believe it has been 5 years. It was a Tuesday morning, and Shem and I went to the hospital around 7am to be induced to have our baby. Dr Livers broke my water and I remember telling him she would be born before lunch and he didn't believe me. Such a foolish man. Mom, Annie, Shem and I took a few hot laps down the halls of the hospital and I got bored (very impatient actually) with that quick. We went back to the room and I kept feeling like I had to pee, constantly. Finally, in the bathroom while "pee-ing", I had the urge to push and Mom went to get the Dr. It was like he tele-ported StarWars like, into my room. He checked me and said I could push if I wanted to. Honestly, this scared me because it meant business. Suddenly there were several nurses in the room and they were taking my bed apart, putting my feet in the stirrups, and getting trays with surgical tools ready and oh baby, the contractions were coming... Then I hyperventalated and actually breathed through a paper sack until they got me hooked up to the oxygen mask. I was so scared. I felt like I was having an outter body experieance. I was in a whole other world. I remember a few contractions went by and I really didn't push as hard as I could because I was so scared of the potential pain. Then my nurse told me the baby's heart rate was dropping so I had to get her out. So, I finally pushed like I needed to and out she came. 10:59am. Dear, sweet, beautiful, Bellami Bea.
I cannot put into words h0w much this little treasure has changed my life. She makes me laugh and makes me cry. She frustrates me and tests me. She teaches me and makes me young again. She helps me remember the simpler things in life, like finding shapes in clouds, watching the sunset and seeing a shooting star. She is the reason I go to work. I do not know who I would be or where I would be without her in my life.
Belle is turning 5 and this has been a very hard thing for me. I registered her for KINDERGARTEN at Butteview and this nearly killed me. I had to take a few deeps breaths before I could get out of the car and go in to the school. I am dreading the first day of school. I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that she isnt a sweet little toddler anymore. (this must be why women keep having babies) I also am worrying about her being in school. Will she be the class clown because she is such an attention hungry goof ball? I worry she will not pay attention to things and be the last kid on the playground after recess or something. How will she know where to go? She will have no friends and no one to go about this blindly with. When we started talking about her going to school she asked me if she would ever go to the Principals office. ?!?!? No child should be worried about the principals office when they are just starting school. (She knows about the principal because one of her dad's step-children went to their principal and Belle knew that kid had done something naughty.) I know. I know. Everything will be fine and she will do great. Lets just hope I can do great as the mother sending her child to school for the first time. I may need a paper bag...
