So Far

Well, this pregnancy has been nothing like my first. Why? I have no clue. Different man? I'm older? It's only been 7 years between? I don't know. I started out feeling good and then BAM, like a ton of bricks I felt like poo. This poo feeling lasted for about 3 or 4 weeks. Not fun. I swore I was never going to get pregnant again during these few weeks. I never vomited, just felt like it 24/7. I honestly felt hungover. Nothing sounded good - food wise - but I forced myself to eat. I could not get enough sleep. I had terrible headaches. I was VERY irritable (poor Tren and Belle). I was crazy. I was a serious Debbie Downer.

I had my first midwife appointment on the 19th of January. Tren went along and was a great supporter. They drew blood and I asked questions and they asked questions. Next, we tried to just hear the baby's heartbeat, but it was not coming through. I was a little panicked at this point, thinking I was 11 weeks along and they cant hear the heartbeat?! So she did an ultrasound. This was when they popped the tiny little bubble I was in and told me I was only 9 weeks along. I literally fought back tears. "another 2 more weeks of feeling like CRAP?!" -is exactly what I thought. I asked them to check again. They did and the baby hadn't miraculously grown in that second and I was still only 9 weeks and 2 days along. This put my due date from Aug 9th to Aug 22nd. Bloody heck. We rescheduled for the next visit in Feb and I told myself and Tren I was demanding another ultrasound then to see if things had changed.

Last week, as if someone had flipped a switch, I have started feeling 100 times better. (big happy sigh). Don't get me wrong, I'm still moody and emotional and tired, but nothing compared to the lovely self I was a month ago. I feel like doing things. I have cabin fever. I have an appetite. It is great. I am so ready to start feeling the baby and to find out what it is and to shop and decorate and have a belly full of baby! I am however not happy with the hideous stage my body is in at this point. My shirts are not fitting as comfortably as before. Gross. I went shopping for larger ones, but that is depressing. I want the bump instead of the gut. Soon enough, right?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I saw a "dream journal" online and told myself I was going to keep track of my dreams. Only the few I feel are worth sharing.

Dream 1: I decided I was going to go buy paint to paint the living room. So, I got on my BMX bike and headed for Meridian. It was in the dead heat of summer and here I am, peddling a small bike to Lowes. What the heck? I was at the intersection of Ustick and Eagle Road, in the turn lane, as if I'm a car, and I decide I am too stinking hot. I looked up into the sunlight and I can see myself with my eyes closed, without a hat on and no sunglasses and my face is beat red. Lovely. I also realize I have no way to carry home these gallons of paint and brushes when I'm on a bike. I really hadn't thought that through. I was dieing of thirst too. So, I frogger through traffic and turn up Ustick towards Linder thinking there is a Maverick down there somewhere so I can get a drink and head home for the car. I am peddling and peddling for a long time and never seem to come across Maverick. Finally I see this little shack thing and there is a sign out front that says "COLD DRINKS" so I pull in. I notice my friend, Jesika's, mini van there so I think to myself she'll give me a ride home so I don't have to ride my bike anymore. I go in and there is not a single drink in the store. It was a sno-shack. I bought a sno-cone and tried to pour as much blue coconut flavor on it, so I could drink it, but the lady saw me and took it away. Jesika asked what I was doing and why my face was all red and I told her I came over for paint and that I was on my bike and right as I said that and was about to ask for a ride home, her youngest started screaming so she had to leave. Without me. I woke up, dieing of thirst and wanting nothing to do with a blue coconut sno-cone.


More dreams to come!